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Friday, February 14, 2003

You Choo-Choo Choose Me!

Yeah, it's THAT day. 14 February. St. Valentine's Day. That one day in the year when all single, unattached people throughout Christendom are made to feel like poor, pathetic losers, because we don't have some significant other to exchange candy, flowers, jewelry, and greeting cards with, and in which our abject lack of companionship is thrown in our sad, hangdog expressioned faces by hordes of kissy couples engaging in an orgy of Public Affection.

Some of the more cynical among us (and you know who you are -- and so do I) will probably shrug off all this uber-romantic nonsense by making scathing comments about the rampant commercialism, the cloying sentimentality, and the caloric binging that this day brings. And normally, I'd be right in the thick of it, opining away at the hideousness of it all -- except for the fact that I am forced to acknowledge the deep, dark, shameful secret most of these spoil-sports share, but Dare Not Name.

We're all just envious of you, that's what.

C'mon gang, fess up. The only reason we poo-poo Valentine's Day is because, in our hearts we all wish we WERE celebrating being stung with Cupid's dart. We want someone in our lives important enough to send a mushy valentine greeting to, someone to take on a romantic, candle-lit dinner at our favorite neighborhood bistro, someone to say "I love you" to, and really mean it from the bottom of the soles of our feet. But we don't, and we know it, and on this day everyone else knows it too, and that just makes us sad and resentful, and so we lash out at those few lucky enough to have what we don't. That's what envy is after all, so why don't we just come clean for once and admit it?

Okay, that's probably not going to happen on any large scale, but in any event, I'm turning over a new leaf as it were. I'm not going to spend the day wallowing in self-pity, regret, envy or any other negativity. Who needs all that extra baggage in the suitcase anyway? I barely have room for my socks as it is.

So, instead, to you the few, the happy few I say, "Happy Valentine's Day to all of you. May you take the time today to tell that someone special how lucky you are to have found your perfect match, your partner in crime, the marmalade for your toast, the cream for your coffee, your better half, your best friend, husband, wife or lover. Tell them you love them with all your heart, body, mind and spirit. Remind them of all the secret things about each other that only the two of you know. Promise to keep those secrets locked in the safety deposit box of your soul, to which they have the only key." If you do that much, I'll be happy too.

And please, show some humility. Because, truth be told, the other 95% of us would trade places with you in a New York second.

Posted byCOMTE on 10:17 AM

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